004 – Hangar 24 Orange Wheat

full disclosure: i didn’t take this picture

I had everything planned out perfectly. My roommate Casey and I were going to go to a well-liked burger joint tonight and I was going to write my full review of the experience. It was perfect. And then Casey decided no, that didn’t work for him. Jerk. Is it too much to ask that he wait a couple hours while I take a delirium-filled nap during the early evening? Is it? IS IT?!?!

Maybe it is. Casey chose to get dinner rather than wait for me, which is understandable. But it threw my whole night out of whack. What to do? As I went to my local Baja Fresh to grab a quick burrito I glanced at the BevMo and was struck with a moment of brilliance. Beer! I could review beer.

Turns out I’m not the first person to have this thought. I guess a lot of people review beer. Who could imagine such a world? Why not add my voice to the untold millions shouting out to a deaf or uncaring God about how much hops they like in their alcoholic beverage (hops is a thing, right?)

If you thought I was unqualified to talk about movies, just wait until you read this. I’m not even really a “beer guy.” I’m more of a gin man, but I drink a beer every once in a while. I usually go for a wheat beer, though I’ve been known to get down with an IPA now and then. But really I’m not too adventurous; I mostly stick with Shock Top or Blue Moon (a character flaw at least two of my co-workers are real dicks about). So I really branched out and selected Hangar 24’s Orange Wheat as my first beer review.

i did take this picture. you can tell because this one is beautiful

Okay maybe it wasn’t much of a branching out, but you’ve gotta start somewhere. At least it’s a beer I’ve never had before. Maybe beer reviews will become a regular segment of this blog and I’ll have to start trying new things (that was kind of the point of this endeavor). For now though, I choose to stay comfortable in my wheelhouse.

BeerAdvocate classifies Hangar 24 Orange Wheat as a “fruit/vegetable beer,” and it makes total sense because this sucker is sweet! Really sweet. Like juice. Neither Shock Top nor Blue Moon is this sweet, and I guess that has something to do with them being classified as “witbiers.” The beer is also tasted a little wheatier… I don’t know, is that even possible? Perhaps it was a little too overcarbonated? What am I even talking about? Trying to review this beer has made me physically uncomfortable. At least I think that’s what this feeling is; it’s definitely not from the 4.6% alcohol by volume in my drink.

I guess I’m not emotionally prepared to review a beer. I never really developed a taste for the good stuff. But it’s never too late. I think I will make beer reviews a regular feature. I put it to you, my one reader, give me ideas of what I should try.

Really this is all Casey’s fault. Thanks a lot jerk.