196 – Interviews

the suit may have been too much

Interviews. The gateway to a successful life. Unless you have really powerful parents who are super into nepotism, you will have to go through the interview process at some point. Well I guess you could become a street person. Or you could build your own company I suppose. But for those of us who are a little less eccentric, interviews are as certain an eventuality as death and taxes.

People get interviewed for all sorts of reasons, though I’m specifically talking about job interviews here. I don’t want to hear about how Jann Wenner interviewed your band in the 60’s. Boring. Unless it was an interview to work at Rolling Stone, I. Do. Not. Care.

Maybe I’m being a little hypocritical. After all I had an interview for an internship today. But I think that still counts, as an internship is basically a job that you don’t get paid for. This particular internship could improve my financial situation slightly, however, so that’s a positive.

If you ask my sister, she’ll tell you that preparation is key for an interview. I don’t know about all that, but it sounds like good advice. There are plenty of resources online where you can find sample interview questions. She can direct you to them, just email her at mysister@gmail.com.

So I do my due diligence and prepare answers to the standard questions, like “tell me about yourself” (not really a question, idiot) and “if you were a blank, which blank would you be?” I came up with good answers too. And I was all set to be charming and pleasant. Get ready to be knocked dead, interviewer.

But sometimes in life, things do not go as expected. Sometimes your interview is more of an informal chat with other potential candidates present. In that situation you might be too prepared. You may come across as odd and off-putting, rather than the regular guy that you are really good at pretending to be sometimes.

I wouldn’t know anything about that, of course. My interview today went off without a hitch. No uncomfortableness from anyone involved. Nope. Not here. Move along.

You know what? Screw preparation. Why can’t we all just be our true misanthropic selves at all times? (I’m not the only one, right?). I suppose it’s because no one wants to hire a misanthrope. Maybe I’m a lost cause. Maybe it’s time to start looking into becoming a street person or an entrepreneur. Maybe it’s not too late to find powerful parents.