239 – Churros

Let’s get one piece of information out early: I’m not a dessert guy. I’ll eat ice cream like it’s going out of style, but for the most part I would rather fill up on real food than sugary sweets. If I’m choosing between more chicken or cake, I’m gonna choose chicken every time. I’m a man, and man love food. But the point of 365 Days of Reviews is to expand my horizons. So I now present – for your reading pleasure – churros.

What is a churro? Well, according to Wikipedia, a churro is a fried-dough pastry snack hailing from your Latin American countries. That really only scratches the surface, though. That’s what a churro is, but what is a churro? Do you understand my emphasis?

For some people a churro represents traditions. For others it represents history. For some it represents the perfect day at Disneyland. A churro evokes no grand thoughts or emotions in my mind, as until this evening I had never before eaten one. Now, before you go demanding that my parents be thrown in jail for child abuse, please know that I never expressed any desire to eat a churro. I’m sure if I had requested one at any point in my youth, parents would have obliged.

No, a churro just never appealed to me. It is one of those types of foods that you understand just by looking at it and smelling it. Like bacon. No one actually needs to eat bacon – you get the idea before you even bite into the first strip (we won’t get into my controversial diatribe regarding bacon’s overinflated stature in the American food landscape).

This evening, however, as I sat down for what will probably be my final meal with a couple of very good friends (more on that in the coming days, I’m sure), I found myself face to face with an El Pollo Loco brand churro. It watched as I ate my meal, as if it knew I was never going to eat it. Well guess what, churro. You’re wrong.

That’s right! I ate it.

I ate that son of a bitch so hard.

And it was alright. I have since been told not to judge all churros by the one I had tonight, but what’s the point of this blog otherwise? I like a doughy treat to be doughy, and this churro was decidedly not that. Crispy and overcooked, it was more like biting into a chip than a doughnut. And at that juncture, what’s the point? Why not just eat more chips?

So boo on you, churros. You’re a disgrace to your culture and desserts in general. I DO NOT recommend.