Here it is: the down and dirty stuff. After 250 days, procrastination has really started to hit me. I saw a couple of movies today that I could talk about if I really had the motivation, but I just don’t. Instead I spent most of my evening eating tortellini and watching Observe and Report, heavily edited for Comedy Central. Self-sabotage is a hell of a drug.
I’ve dealt with procrastination throughout my life. Procrastination is the reason why I stayed up all night the day before senior year of high school, reading Wuthering Heights and writing a dialectical journal on it. Because that’s what the neverending-delay monster does to you.
A lot of people say they do their best work on a deadline – hell, I’ve said that myself. But I wonder if the real fact of the matter is that they can only motivate themselves when everything is on the line. Is it laziness? Or is it that sense of danger? Like everything around you is going to fall apart if you don’t complete this project NOW!
I’ve certainly experienced my fair share. Even now, in my days of burgeoning adulthood, I still have bouts of crippling put-offs-manship. Take that Wages of Fear essay I mentioned last week. Originally I was going to submit it on Thursday, but my “other important things” (some legitimate) have now made it so I’ll be lucky to get it in under a week late. But you guys will be the first to know, because it will be my review for the day – I’ll be too lazy to write anything else.
Really – when you think about it – this whole 365 Days of Reviews thing is one huge distraction from the writing I should otherwise be doing. I thought this project would get the juices flowing and keep me productive in my screenwriting, but I’ve barely written a word of dialogue in the last eight months. It’s not like people are gonna hire me to write very personal reviews after this year is up, so what am I doing it all for?
Probably because procrastination often goes hand in hand with stubbornness. And I am very much a stubborn person. Even if it’s obvious that I’m wrong about something, you’re gonna be hard-pressed to get me to admit it. I’ll just avoid the subject altogether with a new movie or blog project. In the end, procrastination gets a hearty “do not recommended” verdict from me. Now hopefully I can get this one up before I find something easier to do.