337 – Exercising

looking good guys!

looking good, guys!

Exercising. It is necessary for maintaining those 12-pack abs that you have carefully cultivated over your 25 years of life on the planet, but none of us really want to do it. Except for those weirdos who treat working out like a drug. What’s that about? Why do we force drug addicts to kick their habits, but allow exercise addicts continue their self-destructive behavior unabated? Wake up, America! Anyway, what was I talking about?

Oh yeah, exercise. I have a sordid history with the sweaty arts. I usually find myself existing at varying degrees of overweightedness due to a mixture of laziness and eating my feelings. Every once in a while the scale tips a little too far, and I decide to take action.

One way you can go to lose weight is dieting, but if you will notice, that is not the title of this review. If I were to review “dieting” it would be quite scathing. Dieting is the worst, end of story. Again it goes back to my laziness, as I do not have the time or creativity to come up with a bunch of meals that I can make and eat without fudging the rules. I had some success with the “slow carb” diet a few years back, but I don’t have the energy for that kind of thing anymore.

So exercise it is. Some people join a gym to get fit, but that’s not my style. Groucho Marx once said, “I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.” In my case it is really just, “I don’t care to belong to any club.” Period. Which I guess is what he was saying as well. Two peas in a pod: me and Groucho.

No gyms, then. And I’m certainly not buying any equipment; I’m not made of money. My final avenue is body-weight resistance, wherein you yourself are the equipment. Shaun T.’s Insanity program is an excellent example of this sort of thing, and it is the only workout regimen I have ever completed. Thumbs up to that shit.

But I’ve been-there-done-that when it comes to Insanity. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to complete it again if
I tried, since it would no longer be new to me. Instead I find myself using a mixture of the 7 Minute Workout and one of those couch-to-5K programs, which purportedly prepare you for a 5K in a period of a couple of months. Neither program feels incredibly effective for what I’m trying to achieve, but doing anything gives me a sense of accomplishment. Honestly, it’s hard to find time to workout when you have to sit down and write one of these everyday. But I guess that will no longer be a concern in 28 days. I give exercising a mild recommend. Get out there, guys.

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